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Remembering when

This is a picture of my sister, Ann, holding me.
She’s eight years old; I’m three months old.

We had been living in that half-built house for at least three months because this picture was taken in June, and they brought me home from the hospital in March.

Isn’t she beautiful? And doesn’t she have the most amazingly strong and capable looking hands for a child her age?

Ann is suffering from Alzheimer’s, and is now in the last stages of the disease. Sometime in the next few weeks or the next few months, she will die. So I find myself back in the land of childhood lately, trying to know my sister as best I can before she finally slips away.

I’m still practicing and teaching, living the truth of Guruji’s words, that yoga helps us cure what can be cured and endure what must be endured. It’s not all sad, and I work to be as happy as I can be under the circumstances.

But I can’t find it in my heart to write about practice, or more precisely, to write for publication, even to you, my yoga-blog friends.

When that changes, I’ll be back. In the meantime, I wish you a sustaining practice.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Barb Doran April 5, 2013, 10:03 pm

    Missing you Eve. Namaste.

  • melissa April 2, 2013, 11:24 pm

    Be well, dear Eve, one breath at a time.
    Om Shanti om….

  • Donna R March 25, 2013, 11:43 am

    Dear Eve,

    I am sorry to hear of this pain you are enduring. I know you are loved by many which will help at this time.
    So nice to see you the other day
    much love
    Donna and Natale

  • Kathi March 13, 2013, 12:04 pm

    Dear Eve ~ I know you will hold onto that joyful hug. I send you and your sister my love, prayers, positive thoughts and big, strong spiritual hugs to get you through this painful and bitter sweet journey.

  • anita March 13, 2013, 8:26 am

    Oh Eve, what a sad time for you and your family. My thoughts are with you. x

  • Sarah Bates March 7, 2013, 8:42 am

    So sorry to hear your news Eve. Sending you and your family much love and light.

    Blessings xxx

  • Deb Huband March 5, 2013, 12:39 pm

    Thanks for sharing Eve. What a beautiful picture and I see so much of you in your sister. May you find strength in the the embrace of love.

  • Candy Gray March 4, 2013, 2:20 pm

    Eve, your blog as brought me inspiration at some of the most difficult times. I’m wishing your sister a peaceful journey based on whatever she believes. For you, I’m wishing that when your sister is gone – the memories move as quickly as possible from painful to joyful.

  • Heather Bolstler March 2, 2013, 3:53 pm

    Thank you for the profound share, Eve. Where love is present, there is always joy – and you have so much love around you, past and present.

  • Andrea M. March 2, 2013, 7:56 am

    Dearest Eve,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your sister and her illness but glad to know that you are able to share some time with her before she departs. It is such valuable time and is never regretted.

    I send you big hugs, warm wishes and I wish I could send you some chocolate all to strengthen you during this difficult time. My thoughts are with you.

  • Heidi March 1, 2013, 7:16 pm

    I’m so sorry for the suffering your sister (and you) are experiencing now. You are in my thoughts!

  • YogaSpy March 1, 2013, 1:05 pm

    She is holding you with such strength and joy. And at age eight! Now the arms and care are switched around.

    Long goodbyes are hard. I wish you much peace and love.


  • Anet March 1, 2013, 9:43 am

    Eve, you are in my thoughts on this journey. You are amazing to still be practising through this. You are an inspiration. I hope you savour even these moments as part of your amazing life.

  • jane March 1, 2013, 8:49 am

    eve .. you touched my heart this morning as i read your words .. i have been down a similar path with my mother and know, within the many hours, days, years of sadness and grief, there is also happiness and thankfullness .. be well in this journey with your sister ..

  • Judy Russell PT March 1, 2013, 8:49 am

    Dear Eve, my heart weeps for you. I am so fortunate to have four sisters and love each of them dearly. I hope this part of Ann’s journey is bathed in light and peacefulness. My love and thoughts are with you. Judy

  • Katja Huiras March 1, 2013, 7:10 am

    Dear Eve,

    i’m very sorry—i wish you alot of strength

  • Almeva Stiles March 1, 2013, 6:31 am

    My dear Eve, I was saddened to hear this news. My heart is with you and Alan. God bless all. Almeva

  • Linda Abt March 1, 2013, 5:57 am

    Eve – sending thoughts of love, hope and healing out to you and your sister.

  • David March 1, 2013, 12:32 am

    My heart goes out to you in this difficult time.

  • Maureen Uldall-Ekman February 28, 2013, 10:48 pm

    What a great photo. Ann looks lovely. I can see the family resemblance. I am so very sad to hear about Ann. How difficult it must be. God bless you both.
    Thank you for sharing and for continuing to teach.

  • Ed T. February 28, 2013, 9:34 pm

    Do what your heart needs to do. When my mother was close to the end, I moved into my parents home, had internet access installed, and worked from their home to be with her those last two weeks.

  • Terra February 28, 2013, 9:30 pm

    What a beautiful photo. Ann looks positively joyous, radiating.
    I will light a candle for you tonight.

  • Claire Malone February 28, 2013, 7:08 pm

    So sorry, Eve. Not too long ago I lost my sister under similar circumstances – a stroke that disabled her. I’m visiting her son right now and feeling her presence very strongly. Love goes on forever. Namaste.

  • Jocelyne February 28, 2013, 6:54 pm

    So sorry to hear about your ailing sister. She looks very beautiful and so happy to hold you. You be with your sister now…its your turn to hold her. We will be happy to hear from you when you are ready! In the meantime we will keep practising .

  • Darlene February 28, 2013, 6:07 pm

    Oh Eve, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this extremely difficult time. It looks like you have a wonderful relationship with your sister – it shows in the way she’s so lovingly carrying you. My heart goes out to you. Lots of hugs…

  • jana February 28, 2013, 5:47 pm

    that is a grief which has been going on a long time…thank you for sharing something so personal and painful (although with those beautiful moments that appear).

  • Trish February 28, 2013, 5:09 pm

    Love and light surrounding you and Ann. Namaste

  • nancy February 28, 2013, 4:56 pm

    Dear Eve, I am so very touched by what you’ve written. We are thinking of you and of your sister. Take care, nancy

  • Kelly February 28, 2013, 4:08 pm

    Dear Eve

    My heart breaks for the beauty of your love for your sister and the painful act of witnessing her decline and inevitable death.

    I shall dedicate my practice to you and to Ann.

    Om Namah Sivaya


  • patti hirschberg February 28, 2013, 3:10 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing the picture. I cared for my dad until he died
    from Alzheimer’s. Someone referred to A. as “the long good-bye”. May your sister be free from suffering. At this stage it is no doubt harder on you than on her. Grateful for your disclosure; your practise will provide you with equanimity. Thoughts and prayers comin your way.

  • Anne February 28, 2013, 3:08 pm

    I have never met you but your blog postings always bring joy to my day. Perhaps this is the time when your yoga-blog friends can do the same for you. Take every opportunity to share happy childhood memories with your beautiful sister and know that your community of yoga friends will be here for you when you are ready to come back

  • Jennifer Bazett February 28, 2013, 2:45 pm

    Beautiful, Eve. Your sister. Her hands. And your sharing this sad time with us.

  • Liz February 28, 2013, 2:40 pm

    That is such a beautiful picture Eve.
    Take all the time you need.

    Om Namah Sivaya

    Blessings and Light.


  • Barbara Kuhne February 28, 2013, 2:31 pm

    Thanks for sharing this beautiful photo and memory, Eve. I’m so sorry to hear about Ann’s illness and the painful time you are going through. I am going to sing the song “I Am Sending You Light” for you and Ann.

  • Beverly Fox February 28, 2013, 2:30 pm

    My thoughts are with you.